


Kamal...Oh My God

by NavyRuby



Category: Smile For Me (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Trans kamal, autisic habit, habit switches between 'manic' speech and regular speech, trans habit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-08-11 11:43:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20153038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavyRuby/pseuds/NavyRuby
Summary: Kamal's shared apartment with Parsley gets quarantined, where else would he go but directly into the arms of his goofy boss?





	1. Kamal Voice: what the fuck

**Author's Note:**

> SO THIS is an au where the habitat didn't happen and Dr. Habit is a (reluctant) dentist with Kamal as his assistant. Parsley and Kamal live together and all the habiticians are still pretty tight in some way or another so if they get mentioned just assume they all know eachother somehow.

Kamal Bora wasn’t a smart man, he just pretended to be one. He was pretty good at that he supposed, enough to get through college and enough to not look like a total disappointment to his parents. Of course, there were many more things about him for them to be upset with, stuff worse than hiding every ‘D’ he made on a paper or every discipline slip he got.

Stuff like his ever growing crush on his ever adorable boss.

Not only was Habit about ten years older than Kamal but he was a guy! His parents weren’t the best at things like ‘being accepting’ or ‘loving their son no matter what’ or ‘being good parents’. Hell, he hasn’t even told them he was genderfluid and was pretty sure he never would? He didn’t know exactly what his straight laced parents would say or do, but he had a few guesses...

“Yo, Kamal, you tryna’ tell me we need to turn the ac on or something?” Parsley asked him, somehow being right next to him even though Kamal could swear he hadn’t heard him come into their apartment at all.

Snapping out of his brain stupor, Kamal closed the fridge he had been vacantly staring into this whole time, “Yea? What about it?”

Parsley rolled his eyes and started shedding his clothes. You know, in the kitchen, like one does. 

Kamal wasn’t too fazed, since he started living with Parsley he kind of figured out that the guy had some patience problems which...same. But to do it in the kitchen? For shame sir.

“Can’t you do that in the bathroom?” Kamal looked at him incredulously.

“If I had to go to the bathroom to take my clothes off it would take longer because I’d have to walk through the living room, and THEN I’d have to come back here to get to the laundry doom- I mean room,” His voice was muffled as he stumbled through his thought process, his shirt stuck on his head.

Kamal sighed good naturedly and reached up to tug the shirt off for him, “Whatever, weirdo.”

“Thanks man, but uh,” Parsley looked down at his watch, “Shouldn’t you be at work by now?”

Kamal froze. He looked at the microwave clock, 9:40, then he looked at the oven clock, 9:41, then, just for good measure because maybe daylight savings time came early or something, he checked his phone. 9:40.

“Fuck.”

-

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” Kamal said to himself, just absolutely freaking the fuck out. He was never late to anything. Especially not work! He needed this job, he needed to not be having an anxiety attack either but he had priorities.

Parking Parsley’s bicycle that he let him borrow because “It’s way faster than the bus, trust me.” Kamal was able to make it into work at 9:50, twenty minutes after he was supposed to clock in. He felt sick.

“God damn,” Kamal opened the door, out of breath and panting like he had just ran a 4k instead of riding a bike for ten mintues, his hands were sweating as he ran to the back to log in, not even noticing the weird looks he was getting from the patients in the waiting room.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck- OOUG,” His panic attack was interuppted by a wall that was actually a person, a personable wall.

“Oh, oh noe!!” Boris Habit stumbled backwards from the weight of his assistant running straight into him. He was a wonderful boss however because he caught Kamal instead of letting him fall, like some kind of horrible boss might have.

When Kamal opened his eyes and got out of his ‘brace himself’ mode he found himself in the warm yet oddly rust smelling coat of the doctor. Otherwise known as his boss. Otherwise known as his big gay crush.

“Ahh, hhah, hah,” he started chuckling into the white lab coat. He could cry, he really could.

“Uhm, Kamal? :-0” Boris asked, still holding gently onto the smaller man, afraid that maybe he had suffered some kind of injury to his head. Maybe he had a fever what with how sweaty he was?

“HAH, HAHAHHA, AHHH ahhh hahahaaa...” He was full on break down laughing now, too much had happened in such a short amount of time, making his brain unable to catch up. And now he was just laying here in his bosses arms, laughing into his chest like he owned the damn thing.

God, Kamal was stupid as shit.

-

After that ‘incident’ Kamal had been allowed to clock in normally like every other day, much to the concern of Dr.Habit. He could barely walk around the office now without the doctor asking him if he needed a check up. 

What kind of check up? Kamal didn’t know and was too afraid to ask, knowing he was weak and would give in immediately just to spend some time under Habit’s care.

Or some time under Habit…

“Oh my gooooood…” Kamal groaned into his hands, he really had it bad.

“Kamal?” Boris poked his head around the corner, much to his assistants’ chagrin, “u okae?”

He looked up from his desk, newly embarrassed by his own thoughts, and gave Habit a forced smile, “Y-yeah, I’m doin’ good doc.”

“OKay! :-3” Dr. Habit did that thing with his mouth that was somehow a living emoticon but also a word? Then he bounded off to go do something in his office. Weirdo…

A cute, dumb, stupid, weirdo that Kamal had totally unfortunately fallen for.

“God what am I gonna do?”

He then got an IM from Parsley, he knew it was Parsley because he had done the time consuming task of changing everyone on his friends’ list notification sounds to something unique. Parsleys’ was the sound of a cow mooing because Kamal thought it was cute.

P: Hey dude.

K: What do you want?

P: Okay rude.

K: you know i’m not supposed to be slacking off at work right?

K: talking to you counts as slacking off.

P: well it won’t be slacking off once I tell you what I found in your room

K: uh

K: what?????>?

Kamal was scandalized. Parsley wasn’t supposed to go into his room, AT ALL. PERIOD. What the hell was he doing in there??

P: _Sent an attachment_

P: See that?

K: A hole? Behind my book case???

P: yeah.. A mouse hole.

K: fuck , i mean i guess ill buy some traps on the way home?

That was a bummer for sure, but not really something to be bothering him at work about.

P: that’s not all

P: _Sent an attachment_

K: what

K: the hell

P: I know, i know i don’t what it is either but apparently it’s ABsolutely not good

The image was of a light shining into the hole, it was mostly pitch black except for some kind of shiny green ooze?? In his walls???

K: oh my go

K: d

P: Yeah it’s a whole thing, i done called poison control and they said

P: in their words exactly

P: “evacuate immediately”

K: Fcuk

Kamal leaned back from his computer. Of course he had to evacuate his shitty apartment, of course it had to be today. What else could go wrong?

He knocked three times on his wood desk.

P: My pa said i could come home for a few days

P: I dont’ know where yo’ure gonna go but i can ask if you could come with?

K: Parsley, no offense but, I’d really rather not.

P: I totally understand, it’s kind of crazy over there.

Kamal agreed completely. Staying a few days in Parsley’s parents’ home sounded like an absolute fucking nightmare. They were very loud and very angry at the best of times. At the worst of times well...Let’s just say that Kamal wouldn’t be able to forget the scar he got from Thanksgiving dinner there.

How the hell did they get into a fight with a wishbone anyways? It was all a blur of thrown mashed potatoes and broken plates.

K: thanks tho, ill figure smth out

P: no problem man, see you in a few days

K: yeah man see ya

Kamal logged out.

Maybe that last line from him totally obscured how much he was freaking out on the inside, or maybe it didn’t at all. Considering Parsley had known him for about three years now he should know that the slightest inconvenience could make Kamal freak it.

And today was FULL of slight inconveniences.

Kamal wanted nothing more than to leave work immediately and go home to pack up. Maybe find a hotel somewhere? God he wasn’t sure how much he actually had as far as ‘hotel money’ went. He still had to feed himself for these few days as well. And oh god he was Terrified of the implications of that ooze.

Would he be sick? Should he set up a doctor’s appointment or wait for some kind of conclusion to the mess. Was green ooze poisoning covered under his insurance?

He started overplanning and overthinking, going on websites to look up hotel prices and the like. Ugh, his shitty landlord would probably convince HIM to pay for most of the apartments’ quarantine. Since it was in his room, even though he had no idea where it came from or what it even was. Who’s to say that the old tenant didn’t secrete some wildly gross and unidentifiable slime??

Kamal got up and started pacing around, imagining getting into fake arguments with an invisible version of his landlord.

“You are an absolute bag of ass, craig!” He scream whispered, getting into the ‘angry tenant role’, “You...You…-FUCK.”   
  


Kamal stumbled back and onto the carpet. In all his frenzied pacing he hadn’t noticed that he was slowly getting closer and closer to his desk, right up until he hit his toe on the edge. Banged it straight up.

God, could he be any more of a mess…

Trying not to cry, he curled up into a ball and ended up crying anyways.

His tears had been so stress induced and so full of built up anger that he cried harder than he had in years. Well, maybe that was an overstatement- He cried like every other month over movies and stuff.

Abruptly he had been scooped up into an all encompassing hug that smelled of rust and bubblegum.

  
“Thare thare, friend…”

Habit was cradling him and rocking him like he was some kind of baby. Which he pretty much was at this point. After getting over the initial shock of the situation Kamal began to sob harder and buried his face into the fluffy collar of Boris’s coat.

If Kamal was going to have a very public breakdown, he was going to Indulge.

“You are bigge-r than you’re problems!! Youare import-ant! The most imported ant.”

The sweet reassurance Boris was dealing out was almost enough to make Kamal start crying all over again. The big softy didn’t know anything about his problems and yet here he was trying to solve them. Why the hell was he so nice? Kamal didn’t deserve this.

When he had turned into a sniffling mess and not a sobbing mess he tapped Boris’s shoulder asking him to let him down. Kamal wanted absolutely nothing more than to just stay there and breathe his good/bad smell but he was afraid of being ‘too’ unprofessional in this already unprofessional climate.

“Heh, thanks doc…” Kamal wiped the rest of his tears away with his sleeve.

“Are you…Fine now? :-(“ Habit asked, tilting his head in that way that made Kamal go crazy with stupid gay energy.

“Yeah I’m fine, it was stupid. I’m sorry about that,” Kamal had started slowly coming back into himself. His incredibly embarrassed self. He can’t believe he did that in front of his boss. And he wasn’t even going to think about the 2k hurt/comfort fanfiction that his life had suddenly become.

“You’re frownies needed to be let out, no’thing wronge with that!” Habit was smiling, covering his mouth again like always, “Do u wamt to talk about it?”

Kamal smiled back because he knew Habit was all about that stuff and maybe it would make him drop the subject sooner.

“Well...My apartment is being quarantined.”

-

Kamal stumbled into his apartment, confused by the surrealness of it all. It felt weird being in here after knowing that it was apparently full of something that could kill him. He quickly rushed to get all of his things packed.

Toothbrush, back-up toothbrush, toothpaste, and floss. Oh and he should probably take some clothes too.

When all was said and done he hurried outside, breathing in the clean air. It didn’t really smell any different outside than inside but knowing the gross stuff about his apartment made his mind weird and paranoid.

He rolled his suitcase out and stood next to Parsley’s bicycle that he had used to get back. What now? Dr. Habit had said to email him when he had gotten done so he could pick him up and take him wherever he needed to go. It was touching but honestly Kamal was just shocked that the guy could drive.

He sort of forgot that people in smaller towns kind of need to drive if they didn’t want to take the bus all the time like he had settled into doing three years ago. When Kamal lived in the city it seemed so much easier, it was just walk everywhere or take the subway. Simple. Fast. Scary.

But there really wasn’t anyway that he was going to wait for a bus with a whole ass suitcase at, like, noon. So he ended up emailing Dr. Habit.

It took a bit to compose the email on his cellphone but he ended up doing a pretty good job at not sounding completely desperate and forever in debt to him. Sighing, Kamal put his phone back into his scrubs pocket, assuming it would take a few minutes for the doctor to get back to him because it was an email. It seemed like a far clunkier way to communicate than a simple IM. Should he teach the doctor how to sign up for one?

However he had responded faster than Kamal thought he would, in less than a minute the doctor had emailed him back and then a few minutes after that he was rolling up in his, sort of charming, beat up car. With a little bobble head baseball guy on the dashboard...Cute…

“Thanks again for this Doc, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Kamal stuffed his luggage into the backseat and got in with it. He felt weird about riding up front for some reason, like he didn’t deserve to.

For a moment he thought he saw a blush on Boris’s face but he was probably just seeing things. Yeah. That’s it.

“Not a problem friend!” He was surprisingly lucid at the moment, maybe it was just how he acted at work but the goofy speech pattern had left for a more subdued and less whimsical sound, “Where do you want to go?”

“I...Haven’t thought that far ahead actually…” Kamal rubbed his neck nervously, looking out the window at his apartment building, “I was thinking about staying at some cheap hotel but after doing some thinking I’ll probably have to settle for a cheap motel instead,” He chuckled pathetically.

Habit’s eyes widened as he looked at him in the rear view mirror.

It took a second of Habit playing around with the ac before he started up the car, apparently with a destination in mind.

“Oh? Do you know somewhere?” Kamal stopped nervously playing with the loose thread on his shirt and shivering a bit from the blast of cold air. He slightly regretted not changing out of his breezy scrubs earlier but oh well.

“No, but I think you’d be much happier in a housze than you’d be at a flea infezted motel.”

Kamal almost choked, “O-oh?”

The generosity of this man.

“I can’t accept that sir, you know that...I wouldn’t be able to repay you!”

Boris’s eyes darted back to the road for a second, “There’s no need to repay me!! It’s what friends do.”

Friends huh. Kamal always thought that the doctor just called him that out of habit (heh) than anything actually resembling familiarity. But he supposed he has known him for a few years and they do have their fair share of pleasant talks. Why couldn’t they be friends?

‘ _ Because I’d fall in love with him that’s why. _ ’

Kamal started heating up from the thought. The audacity of his brain…

Boris was getting antsy from his silence however, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel nervously, “Well? If you don’t want to it’s fine…”

“I...Well…” Kamal sputtered, “Y-you know what. I’d love that,” Because he would love it, more than anything, but if he kept deliberating on the nature of his friendship with the doctor, Boris might just start crying from being put on verbal hold for too long.

Dr. Habit lit up, smiling without covering his mouth for once, showing off his missing tooth and crooked smile.

Kamal thought it was just so charming...


	2. Chapter 2

Habits’ house was huge. Like not regular huge but really Huge. Like he had to have a ton of money huge.

“What the hell??” Kamal stood outside the door step with his luggage, gripping onto it as he looked up at the three story house.

“Hm?” Boris pushed up beside him to unlock the door, fumbling with the three large locks. Three? Why would he need three locks? Sure, Kamal could see someone needing that in the city but here? In town where nothing happened?

“N-nothing it’s just. Huge.”

The doctor chuckled looking over his shoulder at the smaller man, “It’s not that big Kamal, it’s not even near as big as my fathers’”

“Oh…” Okay maybe he was overreacting but in his world most buildings over two stories were just apartments or banks or something, “I mean, s’pretty big to me but whatever…” Kamal said sheepishly under his breath but the doctor didn’t seem to hear as he rushed to get inside.

Kamals first impression was: Cold. Tit freezing cold. The kind of cold that you would expect from a hospital room in the antarctic. He immediately started shivering. Boris, however, seemed fine. Stripping himself of his coat and putting it on a coat rack next to the door that was shaped like a little heart.

“Ah!! Home sweete home :-)” Boris turned to him, smiling a wide close mouthed smile, “Woulde you like the tour?”

“I uh, yeah? Sure that’ll be fine,” Kamal was just trying to take it all in. He was in his bosses’ house, his Huge fuck-off house. Just how much more did Boris get paid than him anyways??

The living room (or was it a foyer?) was nice, if not unconventional. It was filled with bright colorful art and brighter more colorful flowers, there were even some hanging from the ceiling that he had almost bumped his head on a few times. The next thing that drew Kamal’s eye were the windchimes hanging outside the open windows, each breeze causing a pleasant note to pass through the room.

“Here is the “fridge”!” Boris gestured to his double sided fridge, “It is full of Quiche’ at thee moment! If you’d like sum?”

Kamal stumbled into the kitchen after him, “Oh no, I’m fine! I had a big breakfast!” He lied. It was just too hard to eat on a nervous stomach.

“That’se fine!!! Next room!!”

Habit led him on a pretty coherent tour of the huge house, surprisingly there weren’t as many rooms as Kamal had thought there were. At least there Were a lot of rooms but a lot of them didn’t have anything inside. It was kind of lonely actually.

They stopped by the music room which really looked like a nice little lounge with a well loved record player in the middle. The walls were filled with shelves of records that looked nicely sorted. The ones that hadn’t been sorted were in boxes in the corner with post it notes on them that said ‘TO SORT LATER THANK YOU :#)’, they each had a little drawing of Habit…

‘_ Oh my god… _’

He was just too cute. This house...These two days would be the END of Kamal he knew it.

“My record room! For musak and the like!” Boris stepped into the middle and threw his hands up in a grand gesture, “Look if you want, I’m very-very proud!”

His enthusiasm was contagious and Kamal found himself browsing the walls of records. He had never been much of a record fan himself, not really getting the difference between them and CD’s. But...If Habit was into them then he could try to see the appeal.

“Holy shit is this Britney Spears,” Kamal spotted it with laser focus and took it out of the shelf to admire it. There she was in all her glory, posing like there was no tomorrow. It was a vinyl of her album ‘In the Zone’. Kamal took everything he said back:

Records were cool as shit.

“YES i love the toxicity woman!!” Boris took the record out of Kamal’s hands and put it onto the player, handling it with care and familitary.

As Toxic began to fill the room while Boris hummed to it, Kamal felt himself having an out of body experience. Dissociating to Brittney Spears in his bosses house while said boss in question sung along wasn’t how he thought he’d be spending this Wednesday night.

But he wasn’t complaining.

-

Okay but records really were cool as hell.

The house tour had come to a near stop as Boris and Kamal pursued nearly all of the records. There was so much cool shit on vinyl and it seemed like Boris had all of it. Before this, Kamal thought this was only a hobby for pretentious people but seeing Habit bop and hum to all the records they put on was making him a changed man.

And he was starting to see the difference between CD’s and Vinyl anyways, there was just a different ‘feel’ to the music or something…

Fuck he was starting to sound like Dallas.

Just as surprising as seeing Brittnay on Vinyl was seeing all the pop-punk trash that Boris listened to. Whenever they put something like Greenday or MCR on Kamal could look over and see Boris mouthing all the words with astounding accuracy, even the songs that he was pretty sure NO one knew the words too.

Kamal would never admit to having a punk phase years ago (god the black eyeliner of it all…) but he began to wonder if Boris had one too. Just the thought of his boss in heavy makeup with anything less than a constant smile was world shaking.

“Kamal?” Dr. Habit said with a worried look.

“Huhm?”

“U were spacing out friend!”

“I was?” 

Boris went to the middle of the room to turn off the record player, Black Parade skipped a little bit as he gently removed it from the player and put it back in the sleeve, “We have been listening a little too long, you prob-bably got bored.”

“No sir I wasn’t bored! I was just thinking- it happens,” Kamal rubbed his arm a little, reminded of how cold it was in the house again, “But...Maybe we could move on, I should probably put my things up.”

Dr. Habit looked confused for a second, “Ah, i was having so much fun i forgote to show u to youre room :-(“

He grabbed Kamal by the hand, making the smaller man sputter in confusion as he dragged him to the top floor.

“You can sleep next to my room!! Like a sleepover but not really…” Dr. Habit let him into the, surprisingly sparse room, “I’m going to go order “pizza” so go ahead and make yourself at home!”

He then rushed off. Leaving Kamal all alone.

Kamal shivered a bit. The room was pretty cold and dark, but it was home. For the next two days at least...

-

  


After the pizza was delivered and they both got settled in the living room there was some deliberation on what to watch. Movie? Obviously. Horror? Habit blanched a little at that. Romantic comedy? Kamal absolutely knew he would cry but Habit seemed so tickled by the idea that he could barely refuse. So they picked out something Habit hadn't seen and Kamal had been meaning to see.

This turned out to be a horrible idea.

It started off fine, the movie was more of a romantic drama with comedy elements but Kamal could let it slide just this once. The first problem occurred after his third slice of pizza. The main heroine turned out to be an abuse victim, ‘_ Geez that’s fucking dark _ ’ Kamal thought, ‘ _ Netflix really needs to sort their shit better _’.

But everytime this element was mentioned or even touched on through some pretty excellent foreshadowing, he could feel Habit shift uncomfortably. That wouldn’t be such a problem, it was kind of a heavy topic to watch with your employee, he didn’t blame the man for feeling awkward.

“Hey Boris?” Kamal nervously asked, the love seat that they shared was absolutely freezing and he couldn’t take it anymore. This was Boris’s house though so he wasn’t about to do something as rude as turn the AC off.

“Hm?” The older man muttered, not taking his eyes off the screen. On it there had seemed to be an altercation between the two leads but Kamal had lost interest in their believability as lovers looooong ago.

“Could I maybe have a blanket?” He asked sheepishly.

When he didn’t get an answer he began to back pedal, afraid that he had upset his boss somehow or maybe that the guy just didn’t hear him, “I-I’m sorry I don’t really need one you know It’s totally fine-”

He was cut off by Habit abruptly standing and walking off to some other room.

Okay weird, Kamal thought, but maybe he was leaving to go to the bathroom or something. He picked up the remote and paused the movie just incase Habit didn’t want to miss anything. 

Then he waited.

And waited.

He was still cold, the pizza was pretty much gone by now, and there was no Habit to be seen.

Facing the coward inside himself Kamal got up, prepared to search Scooby-Doo style through this ridiculously large house for his boss. He was shaking but he convinced himself that it was from the cold and not concern. Hah, and definitely not fear!

The house was so dark and felt really unsettling without Habit around. Kamal didn’t know how to put it but it was as if the life was sucked out of it. Even the flowers in the living room looked strangely melancholy.

As he searched through the second floor, mainly just opening up doors to rooms that belonged to no one, Kamal couldn’t help himself from thinking. Why was Habit so alone? He was an incredibly charming man in his late thirties that, if you asked Kamal, didn’t look half bad either. Did he just clock out everyday with a smile on his face only to come home to this empty house?

Kamal may have been lonely too but at least he had Parsley. He hated to admit it but even his shitty small apartment felt more comfortable than here, if only because it had the presence of someone else living in it. Just to remind him he wasn’t so alone.

He shivered again and it wasn’t entirely because of the cold this time.

As he neared the record room he could hear something coming from it. A soft tune that he couldn’t recognize with an undertone of macabre. Like the beginning to an old film maybe? It was kind of scary and he wouldn't have put himself any closer to this actual horror scenario if he wasn’t very concerned for Habit.

He may have been a coward. But he was a gay one.

“D-doctor?” Kamal said outside of the door. He heard a whimper and his hands immediately felt clammy, “Boris??” He hovered right outside the door, not knowing if he should open it or not.

The second whimper was somehow more pathetic than the first and he made up his mind.

He crept delicately into the room. It was dark and the only thing illuminating his boss was moonlight. Boris was sitting curled up in a ball leaning against the record player. His hands were gripping his hair tightly and his face was shoved between his knees.

It definitely looked like a panic attack, ‘_ Okay Kamal, you can help him. You don’t get weekly panic attacks for nothing. _’

Kamal stopped a few feet away from Boris and cleared his throat as to not catch him off guard when he sat down in front of him.

“Habit?” He said, his tone shaky. What if he fucked this up? What if he just made it all worse and was not only kicked out but also shunned by Habit? He could possibly lose his job and...His friend. The thought made him feel sick, but he knew he had to try.

After not getting a response, not even a whimper, Kamal put his hand carefully on top of Boris’s knee, “Boris. Are you okay?” He said firmly. After some more silence he decided to change his tactics, “One tap on your head means yes and two taps means no, okay?”

A moment passed and Kamal was ready to give up and try something else when he saw Habit uncurl his fingers from his hair and tap his head gently once.

‘_ Okay this is progress! _’

“Do you need immediate medical attention?” He didn’t really know why he was asking this but it couldn’t hurt, it was what all the cool first responders on t.v did so…

The doctor tapped his head twice, and Kamal sighed in relief, “That’s good...You can’t speak?”

One tap. It was obvious but Kamal wanted to make sure he knew everything so he could help as much as possible.

“Is this because of the movie?” He had racked his brain and could only come up with one reason for this breakdown. Before that Habit had been so calm and happy, they were having fun.

One tap.

Okay they were getting closer.

Kamal may be a little dumb sometimes but at least he had emotional intellegence. He put two and two together quite fast when it came to the feelings of others. He never really thought twice about it until Parsley pointed it out. He just thought it was like...Context clues or something.

There was really only one reason the movie would get under Habits’ skin like this, at least from Kamal’s point of view. And that reason made his heart sink.

“Was it... Is this because of that one scene where the dad-”

Habit balled himself up tighter. The suddenness of it made Kamal quickly retract his hand. He was sweating.

“Okay, I won’t bring it up. Promise…”

Now Kamal was stuck. He didn’t know what to do and Habit was still balled up. It felt like he was at a wall and couldn’t progress.

That’s when the record skipped.

Carefully getting up, Kamal took the record off the player and slid it into the sleeve like he had seen Habit do plenty of times that evening. Not knowing really where to put it he just stuck it in the ‘to sort’ bin, Habit could forgive him later.

When Boris was giving Kamal a tour of the room he had been pretty thorough, explaining his weird way of sorting the records according to the ‘feelings’ they gave him. There were some for when he was feeling angry or sad, although that shelf was admittedly scare compared to the others. And then there were a ton for being happy, almost too many to count.

So just taking a random stab at it, Kamal picked out something from the happy section. It looked a little worn as he pulled it from its cover and dropped the needle onto it. He slowly sunk back down to where Dr. Habit was, keeping his distance but remaining close just in case.

When the song started playing Kamal thought that maybe he had made a mistake considering it sounded a little sad. It was an older song but the cover had been so old he couldn’t read the title. He was about to go and pick it back up when he noticed Habit had stopped shaking and his grip on his hair had relaxed.

Bit by bit he watched Habit come back into himself as the song went on.

“I...This tune…” Habit said still sounding dazed and looking at the ground, then he smiled, it was a small one that didn’t quite reach his eyes but it was a smile nonetheless, “I know this. This was my lillies’ favorite song,” His voice was scratchy as if he had been crying earlier. Had been crying the whole time he had been gone but Kamal just didn’t notice?

He scooted closer to Habit, proud of his progress even if they weren’t out of the woods yet. This was definitely the Habit he knew, even if he still had that sad broken look in his eyes. He wasn’t sure who Habit’s ‘lily’ was but that was a question for later.

“Hey…” Kamal started off gently, not knowing what to say.

Boris looked up at him, as if seeing Kamal for the first time, “You...Helped me. Why?” 

“Why?” He rubbed his arm nervously, “I- I don’t know. I felt bad letting you go through that alone. We’re f-friends so…”

“Friends?” Boris said, rolling the word around in his mouth. It sounded as if he was still having trouble talking but was pushing himself through it.

“Y-yeah friends, I thought we were at least, it’s okay if we’re not I just…!” Kamal stopped himself. Ugh this was pathetic. He overstepped his boundaries again and assumed something that wasn’t true. When would he learn?

That’s when Habit covered his hands with his own, “We are. Friends.”

His hands were pleasantly warm compared to Kamal’s own clammy ones. Kamal could stay here forever, he really could. Holding Boris’s hands while this strange hopeful song played in the background.

But all good things had to come to an end at some point, and the song slowed to a stop.

That seemed to remind Habit of what he was really doing and he took his hand back, “OH- I’m sorry! That wasn’t very professional of me...” He looked at his wrist watch, “W-we should really be headed to bed!” He stood up hastily and picked the befuddled Kamal up as well, standing him up in the room.

“Goodnite!!!” Habit said, rushing out the door, stumbling a bit after sitting on the ground for so long.

“Goodnight?” Kamal said but his boss was already gone. He sighed, rubbing his hands, already missing the warmth, “What a weirdo…”

-

When Kamal settled in for bed that night he couldn’t stop thinking about everything. It really was a far too busy day for his liking. Too many things were happening all the time and it was as if they all swept him off his feet at once. Sometimes literally when Habit picked him up.

Dr. Habit...What a strange man. The more time he spent with him the more Kamal realized he really didn’t know anything about him. At work he was this goofy, well meaning guy, who you could hear laughing to himself from two doors down. At home? He was more subdued and slightly Russian?? What was up with that?

And he couldn’t help but feel guilty about inadvertently triggering Habit like that, Kamal really hadn’t known about the abuse thing and would’ve turned the movie off if he did. But hindsight was 20/20 he supposed. He had also been acting weird after the end of his breakdown, what with him leaving so fast, but Kamal couldn't really fault him for that. He would run away too.

“...Habit…” Kamal tossed and turned. He couldn’t handle not having all the pieces to a puzzle and Dr. Habit was like a puzzle that had most of the pieces lost.

All that Kamal knew for certain was that he wanted to help. He really did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall i don't know nothing about record players.


	3. Chapter 3

The morning was kind of...Weird. Awkward in a way that Kamal hadn’t felt since he lived with his parents. Every breakfast there was marred with this odd silence that made him sweat and want to say something- anything just to break it.

But he supposed that Habit just wasn’t used to being so emotionally vulnerable with people. Neither was Kamal though so there wasn’t really anything he knew to say that could break the chilly atmosphere.

When they got to work, it was almost like they hadn’t known each other at all. Boris rushed off to his office to do whatever the hell he did in there and only came out when he needed to treat a patient. It made Kamal’s anxiety build to an almost unbearable level. He was so nervous he almost fucked up a novacaine shot in some kids mouth. The last thing he needed was a malpractice lawsuit added onto all of his worries.

It got close to clock out time but Kamal had one more thing he needed to do and that required getting Habit’s signature on forms for a patient. He stood outside the door, getting sweatier by the minute.

He almost chickened out when his phone ‘mooed’ signaling that Parsley wanted something.

P: hey

K: I thought I said u shouldn’t talk to me at work??

P: shouldn’t doesn’t mean can’t

P: also im bored.

Kamal rolled his eyes but leaned against Habit’s door, smiling anyways.

K: well if you’re bored I’m sure your dad would love to talk to you

K: maybe...teach you how to cook?

P: Kamal bro...

P: not only do I not want that, but you DEFINITELY don’t want that

K: eh...I could probably live off of microwaved meals for the rest of my life

P: awww rest of your life huh?

K: Shut up

P: u wanna live with me for the rest of ur lifeeeeee

K: For the rest of my life until the lease is up.

P: sure ;-3

K: dude don’t do that

P: And why not?

K: It reminds me of my boss that’s why

P: oh?

P: your incredibly hot boss that you’d give anything to have a weird and awkward one night stand with?

K: Shut Up Right Now.

Kamal blushed almost throwing his phone at the wall, he was absolutely scandalized. He accidentally told Parsley the first night they drank together that, given the opportunity, he would definitely run a train on Habit with no regrets. He was never getting black out drunk again.

K: ugh,,i shouldn't have told you that,,

P: Well it’s not like i wouldn’t have come to that conclusion on my own anyways

P: ur literally a horn dog

K: whatever

K: Something weird happened last night with him anyways

P: Oh? The aforementioned one night stand or something else?

K: God no parsley shut up for once

P: SOrry !

K: Last night i think i accidentally gave him a panic attack

K: its all good now i think but...it’s awkward as hell

P: eugh

K: yeah i just, don’t know what to do about it. I’m scared i messed something up

P: not even a joke but you really got it bad man

P: if he was ‘just your boss’ like you said u wouldn’t care if things were awkward between yall

K: i know. It really sucks.

K: I’m scared i ruined things

P: dude just talk to him

P: like 9/10 times just talking stuff out is the way to go

P: Kamal?

Kamal hadn’t responded and wouldn’t be responding because behind him the door opened and made him stumble backwards right into the arms of the devil himself.

“OH kamal??” Boris said, holding his assistant firm, “Were u the moo’ing I was hearing??” There had been many moo noises outside of his office for some time now and he had just gotten up to investigate.

Kamal scrambled away quickly, blushing. OF COURSE he heard the moo’ing...Damn Parsley, “I- Uh yeah it’s a message thing...Sorry I just,” He fumbled with the papers in his hands and pushed them into Boris’s chest, “Uh, sorry, here,” And he rushed off to go back to his own office desk.

Boris looked down at the papers in his hands and sighed.

-

The car ride back home was just as awkward as this morning’s car ride if not more. It made Kamal consider how hard it would be to jump out of a moving automobile at 35 miles per hour.

Habit fiddled with the air conditioner and sighed, permeating the silence if only for a second. Kamal sighed back, it was kind of a gut reaction thing but it was exactly how he was feeling at that moment.

Parsley had said talk to him so why not talk?

  
“Hey, uh, Habit?” Kamal said, starting out slow and casual as if he wasn’t about to jump into something serious. He was sweating again.

“Hmmyes?” Boris said, his eyes firmly on the road. Both his hands went back to the wheel and they were tapping out a little song onto the leather.

“I-uh wanted to thank you for letting me stay with you. You didn’t have to and I think it’s just really nice of you…”

Boris stopped fidgeting and relaxed a bit, even looking over to Kamal with a slight smile, “I’m glad you’re happy but!! This really isn’t a problem for me! No need for thanks!”

Seeing him with his hair up in a messy ponytail smiling at him...Kamal couldn’t Not smile back. It almost made him back out of what he wanted to say. Almost.

_ ‘Time to make everything extremely awkward, like always’ _

Kamal sighed, his face turning serious for a moment, “Even so, I feel the need to apologize for last night. If I hadn’t picked that movie nothing like that would’ve happened. I’m sor-”

“Nonsense,” Boris cut him off, a deeply serious baritone entering his voice, “Things like that...They happen more often than I’d like to admit.”

Kamal deflated, having used all of his courage to even bring up saying sorry. He just sat there, playing with his seatbelt and listening. There was something scary when his boss’s speech patterns were so normal. Like he had just gotten so used to the silly man he spent almost everyday with that he had forgotten there was a layer of professionalism that still existed between them.

“I’m always alone so it’s hard for me to talk about it. Whenever it happens I just let it run its course. It doesn’t even need to be anything as particularly…” He tapped his steering wheel again as he searched for the words, “Forward? Like the movie last night. It really could be anything.”

The sadness in Habit’s eyes was all encompassing as he said this, and Kamal wouldn’t have been surprised if he had been swallowed up just by looking.

After a few moments Kamal realized that he needed to say something back.

“I...I’m sorry I just assumed that I had done something wrong because I’m usually messing up.”

Boris looked shocked at that, “You? Do something wrong?”

“Uh yeah sir. I don’t want to make this about me but...I am kind of the worst assistant in the world,” Kamal said, taking on a light joking tone, “Remember when I lit that stack of insurance papers on fire?”

Habit giggled into his hand, “Yes!! Onlee because It was I that left the candle lit on the top of the file draw-er!”

“Okay well what about when I flooded your office trying to find a way to make the water fountain stronger?”

“OH!!! But, if you remember correctly, I was the one that needed you to fill all of those water balloons for the chill-dren!”

Kamal rolled his eyes, “God, that picnic was crazy, who on Earth let you be in control of the water balloons?”

Boris laughed, “Onlee people who are very smart obviously :-D!”

They both chuckled at this, letting the holes of conversation be filled with whatever was on the top 40 that week.

“I...Had almost forgot all of that happened…” Habit sighed in his (what Kamal had come to call) ‘serious tone’, it was lighter this time however, “It’s weird what being in your own head all the time can do to you.”

Kamal cleared his throat, they were getting close to home and he didn’t want this camaraderie feeling to end between them but he had to ask at that very moment because he was scared he wouldn’t get another chance, “Have you considered therapy? I don’t want to sound pushy but, I’ve been a few times and it’s really helped me.”

To his credit Habit thought about it for a bit, taking the time to pull into the driveway before giving him an answer, “I was always too scared before but I think...I should go- At least once.”

The apprehension was clear but at least it was something Kamal could be happy with. That was progress and now there was a huge weight lifted off his shoulders.

-

Back at the house everything felt better. Kamal couldn’t place exactly what had changed, maybe it was the air itself? Making the house lighter and happier. It could be because he had gotten more comfortable around Habit? Who knew that seeing your boss go through a very personal breakdown would bring you closer as people?

Maybe he was jumping the gun, having only really been there for one night. But he was scared that leaving would be hard and almost wished he didn’t have to.

“Kamal? Is there something the matter?” Boris came up behind him, shocking him a bit, “Are you looking for something?”

Kamal realized he was staring into a fridge again. Wow was he just always looking into fridges for some kind of unseen wisdom? Should he bring that up in therapy next? Maybe it was linked to one of his inexplicable childhood traumas or something.

Sighing he closed it lightly, hearing the bottles of various sauces clink against each other inside, “Nah, I’m good boss.”

Habit however looked worried about something, “You knoe, u could call me by my first name if you want? We’re friends!” 

Kamal started blushing. Why was he blushing? Who knows! “I- yeah Boris. We’re friends! I guess callin’ you boss is more of a nickname than anything you know?”

Habit was beaming, “Ah yes, “nickname”, that’s cute!” He gently moved Kamal out of the way to pull some stuff out for dinner that night, but Kamal wasn’t even paying attention.

He...Called him cute. Well, he called something Kamal _ did _cute which, if you are willing to bend the rules of social interaction like Kamal is, means basically the same thing as complimenting him.

Yeah.

-

Later that night they were sitting on Habit’s sofa again, eating the spaghetti that Habit quickly whipped up out of like the four things he actually had in his fridge. Apparently being an older man with a stable job didn’t mean you had everything constantly together like Kamal had always assumed.

“Ahhh,” Kamal put the plate down on the coffee table in front of them, pushing some flower vases over a bit to make room, “Thank you doc’, that was really good!” He felt warm, not just because of the meal he had but because he really couldn’t remember the last time someone had done something nice for him like this. Sure Parsley took him out every so often for drinks but that wasn’t really the same level as a home cooked meal.

Habit was just sort of staring at him though and he started to get self conscious.

“OH do I uh, have somethin’ on my face or…?” Kamal covered his mouth slightly.

“No! No u r fine!!!” He shook his head and looked to the t.v, “S-should we watch something? May-be a movie again?”

“Yeah sure but...You pick this time, just in case,” Kamal rubbed his arm. He noticed that it wasn’t cold anymore or at least as cold as it was when he first started staying here. Maybe Habit had heard him last night about the blanket thing after all? Or maybe...It was because he was so close to Habit at the moment that he could feel the other man’s body heat.

Okay Kamal roll it back…

When Habit picked a movie it was some silly date night comedy, one that was probably along the lines of what he had wanted to watch last night. Kamal had heard bad things about it online but Habit seemed so excited to show him that he literally would not let himself make a ‘face’ at all. Not even a one. Not even when he realized that Adam Sandler was one of the lead men. Nope…

When Habit turned to face the t.v again Kamal made a quick face of disgust, he literally couldn’t help himself this movie seemed like a trainwreck.

God he was such a horrible, skeptical person. He literally didn’t even deserve to be around someone like Habit, he was pretty sure he could say anything to the man and he wouldn’t be judged at all.

Like what sort of a horrible GOBLIN would...Would...Wait what?

Throughout Kamal’s small spiral into self hatred he hadn’t noticed Boris inching closer to him until they were nearly touching arms. It had been a small sofa to begin with but now they were close enough to invite a third sort of medium sized person to the couch if they wanted to.

Oh my god?? Kamal’s brain was suddenly swamped with questions. Was Habit cold or something? Then why didn’t he turn the ac down? Or get a blanket? What does it all mean!??

He was too nervous. He was nervous before, kind of just a general ‘always afraid’ sort of vibe, but now he was nervous AND sweaty.

As the movie got to about mid point (Kamal really hadn’t been paying attention so he could minimize the amount of sarcastic quips he felt the need to make) Habit started basically leaning on him.

“Hey Kamal?” Habit turned the t.v down slightly, making Kamal turn towards him, making him have to look up to reach his eyes.

“Y-yeah boss?”

“I like you.”

“Uh…” That’s it, this is the end of Kamal. He had foreseen this moment since he first stepped through the door and now he was meeting his maker.

“You’ve been ver-ee nice to me,” Habit was smiling, playing with his hands, “Most people would not have done what u did last night and I’m…Truly thankful for someone like you.”

“Yeah?” Kamal’s anticipation was practically tangible at this moment. He didn’t know exactly what he wanted from this conversation but if this really was what he thought it was well...He couldn’t stop himself, “I like you too boss- Boris! I’ve liked you since forever pretty much! Ever since I started working for you I thought you were this genuinely nice, goofy guy.”

Kamal couldn’t stop he was on a roll, time to infodump literally everything he thought about his boss for like 3 years almost, “Like yeah you’re a little weird but who isn’t? We all got problems you know??”

“Uh, Kamal?” Habit said but Kamal didn’t notice.

“And I don’t care what the janitor says about you! What’s he know anyways??” Kamal threw his hands up, he was really getting heated now, “I like you and that’s that! Nothing anyone else says could make me feel any other way ya’ know!?”

“I…??? :-?” 

“I might even!!! You know!!!” Kamal turned to face Habit fully, “I might even be able to lov-”

“Kamal this is very nice and all but I’m not exactly sure what is happening right now and I’ll b honest- I’m scared!” Habit looked overwhelmed to say the least. What was that about the janitor not liking him? He really won’t be able to forget that one.

“I...Oh…” Kamal wanted to form himself into the couch and disappear, just curl up into a ball and die, “So I...This wasn’t a proclamation of love? And I’m here just kind of spilling my guts for no reason?”

Habit blinked a few times, “I mean- I don’t know???” He was so so confused.

Kamal grabbed the t.v remote and turned it back up to a normal volume, he used his dying breath on a sad, pathetic groan.

“Kamal, I…” Habit grabbed the remote from him and turned it off, “Adam Sandler can wait! This needs to bee talked about nowe b 4 we forget and get all weird around each other again! Seriously, this can’t become a trend.”

Kamal groaned again, suddenly wishing he was back home in his toxic apartment, or that he had just stayed there this entire time, “Nmnnmmmm…” He didn’t wanna do this, he just used up all his confidence in his rant and literally didn’t have anything left in him. He was a plastic bag. In function and form.

The silence was deafening, not at all like what it was earlier. The closeness was now suffocating instead of comforting and definitely didn’t help Kamal’s sweatiness.

“When I said I like you I had meant it platoniclee.”

There goes Kamal’s heart. Ripped right out of his body.

‘_ Finish me off why don’t ya doc?? _’

“But that was beacause I was scared that you might not feel the same way…” Habit covered his mouth, grinning wildly behind it like he was hiding a secret.

Oh???

Oh my God??? Kamal’s heart was beating faster than he thought it could, he might pass out, he might-

“But I think that even though I feel like this for you and it seems like the feeleeing is mutual…” Habit grabbed Kamal’s hand, it was just as sweaty as his, “I think that we should wait. At least until we spend more tiem together!” Habit started to run his thumb over Kamal’s knuckles in a way that made him weak, “And maybe I should get some therapy too…Just a thought”

Kamal was really being put on a wild and crazy rollercoaster of emotions, he didn’t know what to feel.

  
“I...So...You want to go on a date with me?!!” He couldn’t believe it he really couldn’t.

Habit hummed, “In a manner of speaking, eventually yes!!! I like you very much… I have for a while now.”

“I like you too! I mean you know that already but still!” Kamal was literally on fire right now. He was so happy he couldn’t even put it into words.

Habit was looking at him with such an intense look that it made Kamal woozy, “Could I do something?”

“Anything, whatever you want!” He could hear the neediness in his voice and it made him cringe.

Boris smirked and leaned in slowly, using his other hand to cradle Kamal’s face, bringing the other man slightly closer to him, “Just...For a second…”

Kamal’s eyes instinctively fell to a close, this is it, the moment he’s been dreaming about since he saw the man. The thing he thinks about doing when he has his head down in his office or when he’s in the shower and his mind wanders to embarrassing places.

He felt something press against his forehead, it was quick and after it was over he opened his eyes to look at the blushing Habit.

“I got nervouse haha,,://-)” 

“Oh my god…” Kamal got up onto his knees so he could reach up and grab Habit’s face, “C’mere you big dork.”

Habit didn’t complain as their lips met. And he sure didn’t complain when it happened again and again and again…

When the two parted they were panting from their combined effort to figure out how to kiss right and not knock their teeth into each other.

“Was that okay?” Kamal asked nervously, what he did finally setting in.

“If it wasn’t I would not have keesed you back,” Habit grinned without covering his mouth.

“So,” Kamal slid back down against the couch, leaning into Habit fully now, “D’you wanna go out for coffee tomorrow?”

“I’d love to!!” Habit leaned over to kiss his forehead.

For the first time in forever Kamal felt good, like he wasn’t some big failure or an existential disappointment. He was just there.

And it felt good to exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGH sorry this took so long but i finally fucking finished it aughhhh
> 
> ive never finished a fanfic before so it might be clumsy but...i was determined.


End file.
